In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
