just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
