we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
