at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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