I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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