Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize