yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
