The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
