Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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