Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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