I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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