yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
