I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
