I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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