I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
