Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
