Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
