i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
