He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
