About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
whose ass print is on the piano?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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