Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So much rum. So many feels.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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