Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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