I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
