if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i drank out of a bidet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize