I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
