so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Your penis caused this!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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