dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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