ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
