I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
