Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
