left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
