so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
