oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
