Non-Jews are for practice
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
