I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
