Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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