i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize