ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How naked do you want me to be?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
