Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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