How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
