Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
