Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize