I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
