fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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