i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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