We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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