we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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