One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
