Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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