She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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