Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
