whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So vagazzling was a success
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize