I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
