mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
