What did we do last night that was yellow?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
