dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize