So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
