I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
