your parents love me but you hate me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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