Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
